De Amoribus

This blog post is a late bloomer.
I know the dreaded Valentine's day has come and gone...but I really wanted to share my thoughts when I could organise them in my head as this is a broad, lengthy and sentimental topic.



I want to write about love and the different kinds of love.
Needless to say, loads has been said about this topic already.

However, I wanted to talk about love in light of the recent developments in Italy (the political elections), Pope Benedict's decision of retiring, Valentine's day, the British Parliament's recent decision on same-sex marriage and my own recent reflections.

Did you know that "De Amore" was the title of an essay written by Andrea Cappellano published (a long time ago) in three books? I didn't. What is funny though is that apparently in the first and second book he describes extramarital love and in the last book he tries to basically almost deny all the theories. After all, it was the 12th century...
Maybe one day I'll actually read the essay and will let you know more about it.

In any case, love is definitely a hard concept to grasp. St Paul helps us to understand what true love is in the letter to the Corinthians:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.⁸ Love never fails.

How hard is that to achieve...and how contradictory it is to many of the "loves" we encounter in real life! We definitely should strive towards it.

One characteristic of a less pure but maybe more worldly love is definitely that "helplessness" we might feel when, no matter how mean a person is to us...no matter how much they don't respect us and no matter how much they actively choose to appear and disappear from our lives in a random way...we still love them.

Is this the kind of "helplessness" that homosexual feel? Is it the same kind of falling in love?
As a heterosexual, I've been thinking about this many times. I think before even starting to argue about whether we think they should be able to marry or not...we should take a step back and agree on something: they have the civic right to love one another. Whether we are religious or not...I think we should see them first of all as human beings, and as such, they have the right to love. Anyone they want.
Then the many discrepant theories arise...should their unions be called "marriages" or not?

Why are there homosexuals in the world?
I've heard someone saying that something is just and moral if everybody in the world can do it and people wouldn't be hurt by it. Well, homosexuals definitely do not harm everyone...but if everyone would be homosexual the world would struggle to procreate. It is important to point out that this theory takes for granted the fact that being homosexual is a choice...when many times people feel it's not.
However, I've also heard someone else say: "I think homosexuals were sent by God to help the overpopulation problem and the orphaned children in need of adoption".
I think they are both valid arguments...I do prefer the latter though... :) I thought it was a very sweet thought, given that I believe in the fact that we are all in this world exactly how we are for different purposes.
Maybe a new Pope would re-consider this modern matter on love?

In any case, there's love that makes one eccentric, love that makes one alternative, love that destroys, love that makes you go crazy, love that saves. It's so astonishing how one single sentiment (though not a simple feeling) can spark so many hearts in so many different but equal ways. Because at the end of the day, we can all relate to the consequent feelings love brings.

And in the end, when we feel helpless, I think all we should do is recognise its power. Its majestic, stubborn qualities. And we should surrender to it.
'Cause...what else is there to do? Thankfully, St. Paul's true love only has positive consequences.
So if your heart wants to love that person no matter what, we have to let it (in the right way).
What's the worst that can happen? Only that that person is loved.

I think True Love is the positive force that builds...it never destroys.
In a broader sense...the more we love, the more we want to love others.
And even when we think the love we build towards someone in specific is futile or invisible: it still matters. Haven't figured out how exactly...but I'm sure of it.

Re-Creativity and Beyond

Do you follow the Big Bang Theory?
If so, have you seen the episode (season 6) when Sheldon tries to re-read his diaries and journals of when he was young to see whether he can find something that is worth a nobel prize?

For the people that do not watch big Bang Theory...I'm talking about a creative mind looking into his past to get answers for his future. I like the idea. I wish I also had written something when I was a child...I remember having all these thoughts...I'm sure most of them were illogical and in a way boring to adults...but who knows if one of them would be a creative approach to a way of living.
Children, with their ingenuity, should really be listened to...and I wouldn't be the first one to say that schools might kill some of our creativity by encouraging us to think only in certain specific ways.

I feel that today's generations are invited to use new technologies to re-arrange, re-propose, re-assemble things...to make new products. But doesn't that lead to re-creation rather than creation?
We can take a funny picture and write up our own phrases and we could even share it with friends and make it become a new internet "meme"...but is that CREATION?
I'm sure making new connections between old creations is part of creativity...but creativity is not only that. Has everything really been invented already, are we becoming more close minded as a society...or are we not encouraged to, and therefore scared to, play with the "new"?

When was the last time you felt like you made something for a purpose...without any adaptations?
When was the last time you went ahead and "created" in the core sense of the word?
When was the...oh ok, that's it: too many questions.

Maybe all we gotta do is allow ourselves to make mistakes. Many inventions were made in that way...and new realisations can bring to new outcomes. Just because we have memes doesn't mean Internet is "creative" and just because we can edit pictures easily on our phones...we shouldn't feel like we are awesome powerful creators.

Creators take risks, are unconventional. They find new connections between existing things but they also create some new stuff. Go beyond creating a "thing" that would fit a category by creating a category in itself.  Maybe it's ok once in a while to jot down that seemingly stupid thought you have in your head about making something that doesn't exist but that you wish existed...

I'm just sayin'...we got the capabilities. We might as well see what potential we can reach with them. And maybe one day we will be able to go "to infinity and.... ..." ...oh nevermind, that's not creative.